running with dogs and a thought on uniforms

I try to run a lot of miles five times a week. Most of the time, this is easy to accomplish, but if there is a monster storm or an important day to celebrate, I'll miss some time. No biggie. I'm not an Olympic athlete, so I can miss a day or a week. Life usually goes on.

Lately I've been running with imaginary dogs. This is a little worrisome. I don't do drugs, and while I don't get a lot of sleep, I don't really blame sleep deprivation for my hallucinagenic (sp? even a word?) condition. I think it is because running in the cold weather sucks. Nothing is fun about running in the cold. Unless you're a fan of frostbite and falling on black ice. Or it's tolerable if you're doing it to spend time with your imaginary dogs.

Most of my dogs are rehabilitated pit bulls. Rescued from a dog fighting ring. They're nice enough, but I wouldn't stick your face in front of them just yet. Give them some time to get more comfortable for a life free of rape-stands. They're good dogs though. Poor guys. A little skittish, but fun to run with. They bark at the cold to keep it away from me. On any given day I can run with up to five dogs. I usually have a dog rotation.

Monday it's Packer and Martin
Tuesday it's Scooter and LaFawna
Wednesday it's Mitch, Treach, and Lil Squeak
Thursday it's Fox, Harry, and Doris
Friday it's Monday, Horse, and Hatcher
Saturday it's Log, Fire, Brain, and Bird
Sunday it's all the rest. (Each remaining dog is named after the position players on the 1985 World Champion Kansas City Royals).

That rotation is not set in stone. For example, I did a short run today so I didn't need Doris or Harry to tag along. It was just me and Fox. We ran fast. We talked about that time Jesus stole my identity for a bit. He needed to buy some high-priced electronics. I didn't mind at all.

Ok, that's all for today. Oh, one more quick thing, I was thinking about sports jerseys today on my run. I have no problem with people buying sports jerseys. I prefer the t-shirts with the players' names on the back, but I can understand the appeal of jerseys. I have a couple (although none are current as Brian Westbrook's Eagle career is now over). But I think jerseys and jeans are silly. I think fans that choose to wear the jersey, should also wear the bottom half of the uniform. I understand you want to show you're a big fan of Bart Scott, but Bart Scott isn't sacking QBs in jeans now is he? Nope, he's wearing tiny white pants. I never understood how people would line up for a new player's jersey, but they never buy the bottom half of it. That needs to change asap. So if you're making the trip to Indy, I want to see you in full uniform if you decide to wear the Scott jersey to the game.

Thanks.

Woof.

According to BBC this Sea Lion is writing the word Rabbit in Chinese:

zombie sink repair for zombies and over-aged children NSFW

I am not a zombie and I am not really a man as I am not yet 40, but there was an issue discovered in our house that required me to learn how to fix a sink. Fixing things is not a big deal for normal humans, but since I am not a normal human, I usually manage to make things extra difficult. Changing a kitchen faucet apparently really isn't that hard to do.

The problem that required the kitchen faucet repair was a leak sprung in what I will call the "neck" of the faucet. For the most part it wasn't a big deal, but we got one of them dishwashers that you have to roll up to the sink and connect to the faucet. When water would back up when the dishwasher was on the chill portion, it would shoot out of the neck, not unlike blood from someone who accidentally got hit in the neck by a javelin. So the water was terminated to that particular sink and a trip to Home Depot was made. A new kitchen faucet was purchased and plans were made to have me, your zombie hero, to replace the damn thing.

So I figure out how to get under the sink comfortably, which is probably the most difficult part about sink repair. I figured out how to unscrew the water connections to the existing kitchen faucet. After about a few minutes of unscrewing some rusty connections the old kitchen faucet was removed. Proud of myself I chewed through the packaging of the new faucet only to discover that we bought the wrong product. It turns out we have the hose connection, but you can't simply reconnect the existing hose to the new faucet since it needs to have the special connection. How dumb is that? So a return trip was made to Home Depot, and the proper product was purchased.

I meant to fix the damn sink Monday, but the stupid narwhal tattoo experience made me skeptical to attempt a fix late at night because I didn't want to wake my dad up when I 1) opened a fountain 2) fell through the kitchen floor, so I decided to leave the kitchen sink waterless for an extra night.

So last night comes around and I am determined to make the repair, so after dinner Sarah takes his majesty into the living room and I descend into the depths of under the sink hell. It turns out that changing a kitchen faucet is pretty easy. Here are the steps:

1. Buy a new kitchen faucet
2. Go to Home Depot and return the kitchen faucet you bought for the proper one
3. Take the old faucet out. Basically you have to unscrew 4 things and unattach the hose part. The hose part didn't disconnect easily so I just took some scissors and destroyed the hose. If the new one didn't fit, we would probably have an issue.
4. Take the new faucet out of the box. Look at the instructions
5. Put the new faucet in. Go underneath and tighten some stuff. This requires a second person to hold stuff up top as you tighten.
6. Run the water
7. Check for leaks
8. Call your dad if you get nervous about a little water coming out of the cold water handle.
9. Agree to just see if it fixes itself
10. Check to see if there is still a leak. If there is, freak out. If there isn't, chill. Right now I'm in chill mode.


Today is our third wedding anniversary. It's amazing how much has changed in three years, but the one constant has always stayed the same. Sarah and I fantasized about buying NBA teams and dedicated field hockey fields in our names to our alma maters, last night when figuring we would win the Mega Million. We did not win. But it does not matter. Because being with Sarah and Maksim is far greater in my book than being a 355 millionaire.

(Although if we won, I would have put an NBA team in DelCo.)

2011 tattoos

I got a tattoo last night. From a tattoo shop.

Want to hear more?

Ok!

I like tattoos. I don't get addicted to things very easily due to an appreciation of apathy, but I do like tattoos. I have several. Mainly small ones. My first was a blue dove that I liked when I saw it on a car air freshener, the second was a red fox seen on the cover of a Belle and Sebastien CD. The third may have been the Kurt Vonnegut quote, while the 4th may have been the Kurt Vonnegut drawing. The fifth coulda been the trumpet clip art, but it was probably the nick drake guy sitting on top of the vonnegut quote. The seventh most likely was the Endless Summer, while the 8th undoubtedly was the cat playing the drums. The 9th was the Hawaiian hut achieved on our honeymoon, but thinking more carefully about it, I probably mixed the hut up with the cat. That sums it up I think, but I could probably be missing one or two. Oh yeah, I have the Mickey Spillane book cover girl, so I guess that accounts for ten. If you think about it carefully, a tattoo rarely goes for less than $100 unless you get a tiny letter on a knuckle, so I imagine I have spent close to $2000 on tattoos. Is that math right? Probably. SMH

So no one can simply have ten tattoos, so I told Sarah for a lot of years that it was time to get a new one. I have many ideas of what I wanted to get, but for whatever reason I decided I needed a narwhal for Maksim, even though he roars more like a lion. So Sarah hooked me up with a nice tat gift cert to Bone Daddy's (that's right) tattoo shop in Aston. Appointment was booked, idea discussed, arm shaved, tattoo received. I don't know, hopefully narwhals aren't too trendy (like ninjas or snap bracelets), but I'm pretty happy with it. He's a little too sad looking for me to really say it's a Maksim tat, so I'll have to go back in a year to get the 12th, most likely a lion.




This pic is very Myspacey as it was taken in a tullet stall, but I did my best to keep the tullet out of the pic.

In other news, the sink is leaking. I will attempt to solve the problem once and for all tonight. Changing sink parts is challenging as it is tough to fit an entire adult body into the tiny space underneath the sink, while keeping your sweatpants from falling down. I'll probably keep my gun out of the wasteband during the fix. If all goes well, I will provide an update tomorrow. If the sink falls on my sternum, I will ask Sarah to send an update.

ANGRY BIRDS (update): I am on level 7-3 or so. It's when you gotta kill the pigs with the night time city landscape in the background.

Peace

year of the rabbit

I'm not big on resolutions but I decided for 2011 I would write a lot more. I intend to write a blog every single day in 2011. Today is January 3rd. And this is my first blog of the new year. So therefore I have failed. But like a good neighbor, state farm is there, and I shall continue on as if day numero uno and dos did not exist in the blog world. Like that scene in 300 where there's no way they are gonna win, but they fight anyway because in the end they didn't want to go back to cubicle life because they rather die heroically as opposed to dying a slow death processing student loan applications. Things might have been different if that little troll dude didn't end up backstabbing them because he wanted to smizz with all the Persian dude's concubines. That's basically what this is more or less exactly kind of like.

2010 was pretty much the raddest of years. A little buddy named Maksim Walter joined Sarah and I in our quest for world domination. The quest has become easier with him in the mix. His first typed word may have been cop poop.

Maksim (logged in as Sarah)

Sweetie: j j7nnnnnnnnnn58
65
2:19 PM c S nnnnnnnnnm x
sz,
fv
me: 65
Sweetie: cop'oop;k x
me: cop'oop

I've been saying cop poop all these years. Acorns fall. And hatch into greater trees. That hopefully can dunk.

2010 was also heroic for other reasons, but now is not really the time to discuss them. This blog is about 2011 and what to expect (if you were expecting). Expect nothing and therefore every thing will be something. That was my yearbook quote, except it wasn't, but if it was you probably wouldn't have believed it anyway. My yearbook quote was actually from a Propagandhi song which was an actual punk rock band from Canada that played songs about stuff and had albums where the songs could be heard that could be purchased or stolen because stealing actual cds used to be easier than stealing imaginary cds if you had a friend named Jones.

The above could have been summed up in a twitpic from the BBC:

Philly Marathon recap

So I finished the Philadelphia Marathon. My only real goal going into a race is to finish, but I secretly wanted to get under 4 hours. I had 4:25 I think in DC which was good, but I took that one real slow in the beginning because I wasn't sure what to expect. Having the experience of DC behind me, I figured I could run a little more normal during the beginning. I ran extra normal (whatever that means) for the first 15 miles and I was on pace to hit 4 hours and 2 minutes. I figured I could run faster for the last couple of miles to get just under four hours. Unfortunately my right leg stopped working at mile 18, so 4 hours was out the window. At mile 22 or 23 or so, the limp run I was doing for 4 or 5 miles started to have an effect on the rest of my muscles so I began to cramp. The last 3 miles were reduced to a jog/walk/limp death march that resulted in a 4:28 finish. 3 minutes slower than DC...not thrilled with the time, but at the end of the day I guess it doesn't matter. I could blame the fact that I didn't do many long runs in training for this marathon, the fact that I eat a ton of candy during a day in the cubicle, and I don't exercise outside of lunch hour runs. I decided I will do some yoga with Sarah for the Spring marathon (marathon to be determined next week).

I wasn't too excited to run in Philadelphia for whatever reason. I've lived here for six years now and I figured that the course would be boring because it's places I've already seen a bunch of times. Running up South street, by the zoo, and up Kelly drive didn't seem too exciting. I was wrong. The race was super fun. I planned for the start much better this time. Instead of showing up 2 hours early like I did in DC, I got to the Art Museum at 6:50 when the race started at 7. I didn't have to wait in any port-o-potty lines because I parked/used the bathroom at work (and Dunkin Donuts and home). Maybe it wasn't smart to park 2 miles away from the start, but it's good to know for next time...which will be never because the PA marathon is now crossed off the 50 States + 1 checklist.

The race started on time at 7 and even though I was in a corral near the back, I think I was started by 7:10 or 7:20. Nice work, Philly race people. The race was especially fun, because the people who came out to cheer were awesome. First names were printed on our race bibs, so people would shout out your name which was weird at first, but really cool near the end. It was extra cool to see Sarah and Maksim hanging out in Manayunk (mile 20 or 21). I stopped momentarily to tell Sarah about my injury and to tell Maksim that he makes a pretty good bear (as he was dressed in his bear costume). Rob, Robby, and my sister were also there and I wanted to stay and high-five everyone but Sarah told me that I shouldn't stop and told me to get moving. I limp ran away and headed back to the city for the thrilling finish.

Other notes from the Philly marathon:

A lot of people. Maybe I am misremembering, but it seemed like triple what the National Marathon in DC gets. Possibly because the National Marathon is relatively new and it doesn't count to a state for the 50 state club?

Crushed can of Four Loko on the course. Probably from a vagrant, but I'll pretend it was a runner's pick-me-up at mile 17.

Perfect weather. I have lucked out with weather for both marathons. I can't imagine running a marathon in rainy or obscenely hot weather. I'm a little nervous if I decide to run Delaware next (late May).

Columbus Blvd. served as a pretty good bathroom spot for a billion runners, male and female. Nasty

Ran without music. It was a lot easier than expected.

Having a baby is awesome. Here's Maksim eating his sock and my finisher's medal:




Thanks to everyone for cheering me on through emails and thanks to those who donated to my page.

Donate Now!!!!

Hello,

It turns out I did a pretty poor job annoying you all with donation requests for this marathon (which is Sunday). I'll make up for it with the next one in the Spring. Don't worry.

Anyway, it's not too late to donate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Give all your money (or $5) to the robots found within this link:

http://www.crowdrise.com/safetyroperuns

In case you're wondering "why should I donate?" to anything Todd does, I advise you to purchase Three Cups of Tea and read it cover to cover. In case you are wondering if there are any great throwback apocalyptic zombie shows on tv these days I recommend you watch The Walking Dead on AMC.

Thanks for all your support!
T. Mali

Oh p.s., I'm running in the Philadelphia Marathon this Sunday. Annoyingly I filled out my projected time honestly and as a result 9000 other marathoners are going to start before I do. I will keep track of how many I pass within an imaginary Excel Spreadsheet that I will be carrying during the run. The update will be provided in the next newsletter, which should drop sometime before whenever.

Week 11

Busier this week than last week. Don't have a ton of time, but football picks are important. Short week I think, so submit picks before Thursday PM.

Here are the standings:

Zila/Zanonymous: 4
T. Mali: 4
Justin: 1
Tebow: 1

T. Mali is on fire. Zanonymous is choking. Sad, but predictable.

Before submitting picks, I thought this Desean Jackson quote after destroying the Redskins was pretty solid and well-put.

It was a pretty busy weekend and I only watched a quarter of 3 games this weekend: Ravens-Falcons, Giants-Cowboys, Eagles-Redskins, and I listened to two quarters of Bills-Lions!

My picks (with some BS attached):


Bears over Dolphins. This is another one of those if-you-watch-Thursday-games-you'll-need-to-mute-your-television games. I'll probably watch The Walking Dead over and over again instead.

Bengals over Bills. True Story: I listened to the Bills-Lions game on the radio last week. It was exciting. I think I need books on tape.

Cowboys over Lions. Cowboys finish season 7-9.

Titans over Redskins. I feel bad for Donovan McNabb. Eagles fans can hate on him all you want, but you have to remember that he was the scout that convinced the Eagles to bring Vick to Philly (True story).

Chiefs over Cardinals. Although the Chiefs should lose for handshake-snub karma.

Packers over Vikings. Not going to mention a certain quarterback anymore. Packers are the better team.

Texans over Jets.

Steelers over Raiders.

Ravens over Panthers.

Jaguars over Browns.

Rams over Falcons. Upset pick

Saints over Seahawks.

49ers over Buccaneers.

Patriots over Colts. Oh wow, Patriots and Colts isn't the MNF game. Maybe the NFL put the Broncos on MNF instead?!

Giants over Eagles. No way Giants win this game. They couldn't stop Kitna, so why should they stop Vick? Giants can't prevent big plays. Eagles are all about them. Still can't bet against the Giants though because I predict undefeated seasons every year.

Chargers over Broncos. They did pick the Broncos over Patriots-Colts. Well played, NFL! Monday night is free.