perceptions

The snow started falling in the morning. It was early, but not too early. The only reason it was early was because it was not late. And it wasn’t on time. So by default it will be classified as early. But to be fair it was closer to on time than it was to too early. This mattered did not to Tilbin. Tilbin not matter did or give a care about when or how or what it snowed. As long as he could see his neighbor’s house across the street he was happy.

When the snow started falling, Tilbin was at his window staring at her house across the street. She was not awake yet since it was early. But when Tilbin glanced at his watch he realized that she would be awake soon. Tilbin figured he had a few moments though, and decide he did to get a cup of tea. When Tilbin turned around to go into the kitchen and away from the window, she made her move.

She knew Tilbin had been watching her. Bother her it did some but not as much as you would think. If it truly bothered her she would have closed her window or threw a bullet or called a police. But since she bothered was not by the gaze of Tilbin, she let it happen. As time wore on she began to like being watched. She had little interest of meeting Tilbin, but she looked forward to the mornings and the evenings when he was there. The time in between when work she must had to, she found herself sitting and longing for Tilbin’s presence across the street. Once she thought she saw Tilbin across from her office. She felt more confident out city in so she took a break and ran to see him. When she got there she found that what she thought Tilbin to be was nothing but a pile of rotting newspapers if newspapers rotted instead of being read.

While Tilbin was making his tea, she quickly got out of bed. She put on a bathrobe and some slippers and ran into the snowy morning. She dashed across the street and up to Tilbin’s door. Hesitantly at first she started to knock. After a minute she knocked with more purpose. There was no answer.

Upstairs, Tilbin was back at his window, drinking his tea. Across the street, a lonely bird landed in the bird feeder in her yard. Tilbin smiled the bird at the sight.

Knicks trades

Quick view on the Knicks trades:

With the moves made at yesterday’s NBA trading deadline, the Knicks have put themselves in a pretty good position to sign Lebron James when he becomes a free agent following the season. In addition, they have freed up enough cap space to sign a second max player, such as Chris Bosh or Dwayne Wade. In order to free up cap space, the Knicks got rid of all their players except four, who had more than the rest of the year remaining on their contracts. The only players the Knicks have under contract for the 2010-2011 season are Eddie Curry, Wilson Chandler, Toney Douglas, and Danilo Gallinari. While I am a fan of Chandler and Gallinari, I do not expect Gallinari to ever become a star along the lines of Dirk Nowitski, even with coach Mike D’Antoni calling him the greatest shooter he has ever seen. In an ideal situation, Gallinari would be the first or second guy off the bench. While I appreciate what D’Antoni did with the Suns, and in some respects almost saved basketball, I think his judgment with the Knicks has been questionable. His praise of Gallinari reeks of nepotism, and his influence in the decision to not bring Iverson on for the year because of how he would stunt the growth of the young talent is insane. The only player who Iverson would be in the way of is Toney Douglas, but since TD doesn’t play, what difference does it make. Instead we have to curiously watch PG Chris Duhon play 39 minutes and somehow manage 2 assists and 2 points in a recent game (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/boxscore?gameId=300216004) is a more amazing accomplishment than a New Jersey Nets win.

While I would be thrilled with the signing of Lebron James, I highly doubt that Dwayne Wade or Chris Bosh would come with him. On paper this seems like a possibility, because in make-believe-land, everyone wants nothing more than to win championships. In the NBA, however, I do not think that the superstars really want to share any of their success with another superstar. I don’t think Carmelo Anthony cried when Allen Iverson was shipped out of town for ultimate team-guy Chauncey Billups. To expect that Dwayne Wade or Chris Bosh, who are both before their primes, will sacrifice a chance of basketball immortality to become a Lebron sidekick is ridiculous. And since it is unlikely that a second max guy would come with Lebron to New York, do you really expect Lebron to leave a great team in Cleveland to help a New York team with no draft picks (and 4 players-including Eddie Curry) to rebuild? I understand Lebron is the best player in the NBA, but even he can’t instantly turn the Knicks around. The young nucleus that the Clippers have is a better fit for King James. If the Cavaliers don’t win I expect he’ll re-up for max money in Cleveland who I believe can also still sign Amare Stoudemire this offseason. And if they do win, I expect that he’ll turn his sights on passing Jordan and go for 7. Staying with Cleveland next year will also give Lebron a great opportunity to win 3 straight MVP awards (he’s going to get #2 this year). With the Knicks he may end up eating vasoline like Stephon Marbury

As a Knicks fan, I am already preparing myself for a couple of desperate free agent signings this off-season and am not looking forward to Tracy McGrady and Joe Johnson leading a Lee-less Knicks team into the NBDL. After a brief conversation with Jailbait Jim last night, it is only a matter of time until we become full-fledged OKC Thunder fans.

reminder

y'all ,

As promised (or warned), here is the second email that I referenced in my previous email that would be sent in regards to the marathon that will be run by myself and a bunch of other people on March 20th. For those of you who attempted to unsubscribe, I apologize, but there have been major server issues and IT is working dilligently to solve the problem. The sole (pun intended) purpose of these emails (this is email #2 out of an expected 3) is to serve as a friendly reminder that you must donate money to the Back On My Feet program (www.backonmyfeet.org). I am a mere $41 dollars away from my goal of raising $250, so if you are feeling generous (or guilty) here is the link with the instructions on how to donate:

http://www.active.com/donate/BOMFNatlMarathon2010/safetyrope

If you are wondering how much to donate, I can make the suggestion of donating as much as you want. So far, people have generously donated as much as $50 and as little as $2. These amounts are equally appreciated. For those of you who are hesitant to donate due to financial concerns, a $5 donation is more palatable when making a self-sacrifice of one of the following regular weekly purchases:

*Justin Bieber iTunes
*Daughtry and/or Nickelback fanzines
*(almost) 2 (two) gallons of gas
*1 (one) trip to starbucks (expected purchase of Grande Cafe Mocha and one old-fashioned durnut)
*1 (one) good beer or 2 (two) crappy ones
*Truck stop trucker hat
*Truck stop INXS cassette tape (combined w/ purchase of postcard(s) or feather(s))
*Gallon of ice cream
*Peat Moss
*Pall Malls
*Novelty giant foam #1 fingers
*Bubble tape

etc...

If you have any questions about anything, please feel free to email me directly. I would like to leave you with this quote:

"I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." -Miss Alabama, 1994

Thanks again,
Todd

Knicks-Rockets McGrady negotiations

Luge disappointment

http://sports.espn.go.com/olympics/winter/2010/luge/columns/story?columnist=bryant_howard&id=4920295

Dear Mr. Bryant,

I enjoyed your article and I thought you were right on the money when discussing the difficulties experienced by the United States women's luge team in this year's Winter Olympics. I agree that it never seemed that the promising young team would be able to adjust to the course alterations that were necessitated following the tragic death of Mr. Kumaritashvili. I have to admit that my blood boiled when I heard German slider Natalie Geisenberger state the course had a "children's start". Having an American victory in the luge would have been a fitting way to silence Ms. Geisenberger and other critics. In addition, it would have vaulted the sport into the American spotlight and showed that it was a deserving Olympic sport and not just a competition between a bunch of lunatics with a death wish.

I have been a fan of sliding sports for a long time now, and while I prefer the skeleton (the name itself and something about going down a hill face first without a steering mechanism or brakes appeals to me), I have always been respectful of the luge. At the same time, I can understand the criticism against the sport. The sport on television lacks appeal because the slight flick in the calves that is required to steer is hard for the unknowledgeable viewer to follow. In addition, watching people go down the same course one after the other can get repetitive and dull pretty quick. NASCAR, which also gets the "it's just a bunch of people driving in circles" argument, at least allows the viewer to watch some exciting passing maneuvers. Luge is also one of the few sports that does not benefit from a slow-motion instant replay. There really is not much for a commentator to slow down and emphasize that cannot already be understood in real time. The pausing at the finish line to show the exact moment a slider crosses loses the dramatic impact of a photo finish of the Kentucky Derby and also lacks the absurdity of a still from a first-time rollercoaster. I love luge because what you see is what you get. The best of the best win and if you are not in complete sync mentally and physically, you will not emerge a winner. This cannot be said of many other sports except maybe tennis. Even darts and bowling can factor in a lot of luck. Since I do not make up the mindset of the majority of America, I think it is necessary to revamp the luge. These changes should be considered to be implemented before Sochin.

To spruce up cross-country skiing, someone once suggested incorporating the shooting of guns into the event. This logic was flawless and should be considered when attempting to make luge more appealing. Since shooting a gun while flying down a hill at top speeds is not practical, I can argue that throwing a grenade is. I feel that during a course there should be a required three grenade launches, the last of which will be into an aquarium of fake dolphins. Moguls is a sport that factors speed and creative skill when judged, so as a suggestion the luge should become more about speed. In addition to the grenades, I believe that 25 giant bowling pins should be placed at the end of the course. How many a slider knocks down will be combined with the total time and the creativity of the grenade attacks. As a final suggestion, I believe that before mounting the sled a slider must first drink two pints of a higher ABV% microbrew and then spin around a baseball bat 20 times. These ideas of course are open to discussion, but I believe would bring more attention (including sponsors) to the wonderful sport.

Kind regards,
Mr. Kurpel

Very Essential

when i grow up

I guess I never really gave it much thought before because I usually was only ever interested in skiing (and now snowboarding) in the Winter Olympics, but I have just decided that the luge and bobsled are both pretty fantastic. While curling is and always will be the greatest winter sporting event due to its compatibility with drinking large amounts of alcohol, bobsledding and luging are quickly closing the gap as the number 2 and 3 sports. I am not sure why I have never thought about it like this but bobsledding and the luge are nothing more than sledding. Sledding really fast. I watched about three minutes of the luge this weekend and I remember saying "That's just sledding. Really fast sledding" I then followed Sarah around all weekend asking her how does one get involved in the luge? Do you decide as a five year old that you want to sled for the rest of your life? Are you too lazy to ever try to go down a hill standing up? Are their year round sledding events or in the summer do you do other things like climb trees real fast...

...we'll probably never know. Yesterday when I was standing on my roof throwing snow onto the ground below (and occassionally throwing some onto my neighbor's roof) I thought for a split second that it would be fun to luge off my roof. I was already to drop the shovel, sit on it and then push with my hands. Gravity would then do the rest and throw me off the roof (or into my living room) and everyone would applaud.

For now my work days are spent looking at photo galleries of professional athletes and their dogs. Hopefully that will just be for now

Book Death

The homeless man dealt with the news of the impending snowstorm by deciding to take a nap on the floor of the bookstore. This, of course, was met with customer panic because it is clearly a violation of a social norm. What the FUCK is that dude doing there? Doesn’t he know we are in public?! What do we tell the children?! Thou shalt not sleep on the floor of a store we remind our kids as little Timmy decides to take his shoes off and throw them at Current Events. Unsure of what to do, security and a few good samaritans decided to pretend it was a heart attack and called for an ambulance. As far as I could tell, the man was just tired of being cold and tired of being tired. If he was found in the Self-Help section, that would be one thing, but since he was found in Fiction T-V I thought everybody was overreacting. Let the man be I whispered into a couple of magazines. He just needs a break. “Sir what day were you born?” the do-gooders asked while waiting for the ambulance. No answer. Security begins to make little jokes between themselves. Enough is enough! Before I can take action, I decide to walk up the down escalator to buy a croissant and a scarf. On my way down the up, I realize I am too late. The paramedics have come and gone, taking the tired old man with them to who knows where to treat him for whoknowswhat for alotof$$$imsure. How long was I upstairs? With the problem eliminated, the lonely consumers make their way through the shelves to buy all the books before they disappear forever.

part 5

PART 5

Panel 1. Overhead view of the outside of the diner. Across the street you can see a bench where you can kind of make out a dude sitting on the bench with a dog at his feet. Behind him is a park where you can kind of see a couple playing Frisbee with a dog running inbetween them. A couple of parked cars in the street in between the diner and the bench where the dude is sitting. Maybe someone walking somewhere in the panel.

Panel 2. Close up view of the guy on the bench. He has a top hat on, dressed in a suit with one of them raincoat duster things on. He has blind man glasses on and a blindman stick resting on his lap. At his feet is his seeing eye dog, which is a malnourished looking black lab. Old and tired. Patches of fur missing. Head down. Behind the bench is a bush and popping up behind the bush are the heads of the couple throwing a Frisbee. The blind dude is talking “Does anybody work in this goddamn country anymore? You hear them carrying on in the park, Ladybug? Shouldn’t they be in goddamn school or something?”

Panel 3. Same view, the Frisbee comes into view, just missing the head of the blind man. One of the people in the back shouts “Oh man, go get the Frisbee, Scooter”. Ladybug’s head is up now and her tail is wagging…excited about the Frisbee. Blind dude says “Don’t you think about going anywhere, Ladybug or I will kick you in your goddamn ribs”.

Panel 4. Scoot is in the frame now, jumping over Ladybug. The blindman is holding his blindman stick like a baseball player waiting for a pitch. “goddamn hippies letting their goddamn dogs run loose and shit and piss all over this goddamn city. Someone needs to start enforcing some rules around here.”

Panel 5. The blindman has swung but missed hitting Scoot who has landed and is running out of frame after the Frisbee. The swing has caused the blindman’s hat and glasses to fall to the ground. “awww goddammit Ladybug get my goddamn glasses for me will ya.

Panel 6. Ladybug is back to looking depressed. Head down after all the Frisbee excitement. Blindman has his hat in his hand but he still doesn’t know where his glasses are which are sitting right behind Ladybug. Blindman’s now exposed eyes are normal looking. He isn’t really blind.

Panel 7. View is of the diner door now. Juliette is outside of the door. Her friend is still inside paying the bill or something I guess. She is standing there lighting a cigarette. Words from off the panel include a WHAP! Get up and find my glasses you lazy goddamn dog. Another WHAP and then a dog whimper.

Panel 8. Blindman is underneath the bench trying to find his glasses, looking kinda like the Grinch when he was slithering around stealing Christmas presents from the Who’s. lady bug is kind of behind the bench sitting and shaking. The guy in the Frisbee playing couple is standing close, behind the bush. “Excuse me sir, is everything ok? Can I help you with something?” blindman replies “Yeah you can help me by GETTING THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE.

Panel 9. The Frisbee dude is waving to his girlfriend and says “Get Scoot, let’s get the hell away from this guy. He’s out of his mind.” The blindman hand has finally found his glasses, while he is still sprawled out underneath the bench.

Panel 10. Julliette is walking past the bench. You only see her legs and her high heels and behind her, u see the blindman curled under the bench hugging Ladybug with his hand over the dog’s mouth. There’s clicks next to the heel’s or something.

Panel 11. Juliette is out of the frame and you still see the blinddude under the bench hugging Ladybug. “That’s her?!?!?! We’ve hit the jackpot Ladybug. Let’s go before she gets too far ahead.

narwhal thing part 1-4

Part 1

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Part 2

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” (the rest of the address is illegible) There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_____________________________________________________________

Part 3

Panel 1: September 1984. Reykjavík, Iceland. George is scribbling away at a desk in a hotel room.

Panel 2: Close up of writing on a piece of paper. “My dear Annette, I just arrived in Iceland because I have heard that you were here not too long ago…

Panel 3: Close up of George’s face. He’s tired looking and he has a bloody nose. Not sure why he has a bloody nose at this point. Writing continues “I’ve almost travelled halfway across the world trying to find you and I am not ready to give up…”

Panel 4: Picture of George playing a didgeridoo in the Outback with one aboriginal. “In Australia they said you were heading to China”

Panel 5: George meditating on the Great Wall of China “…where they said you were heading to Russia…”

Panel 6: George playing chess in a park with some Russian dude and the Soviet flag is flapping somewhere. “…where clues began to point to Greenland”.

Panel 7: George is in the hotel bathroom looking in the mirror tending to his bloody nose. “I am not sure why you left like that. I told you I was going to handle everything, but I guess you were just being impatient.”

Panel 8: George is sitting in bed reaching for the light “I am sure I’ll find you in Greenland, but if not I’m going to give up”

Panel 9: Black panel. Words: “I hope your parents have been saving these letters.”

Panel 10: A beat up shack looking place with a mailbox overflowing with letters out front. The location as told in the panel is Laramie, Wyoming

Panel 11: A picture of a narwhal’s tusk protruding from the water. The text continues “I’ll see you soon -George”

_______________________________________________________________

Part 4

Panel 1. Seattle, Washington January 1985. Little George is climbing the bus steps with tyrannosaurus in his hand and the creepy old bus driver says “Hey George, how’s yer mom these days?”. Bus driver digs George’s mom so he says it lustfully or something.

Panel 2. View changes and you see little George from the bus driver’s perspective. “SHUT THE FUCK UP” as he begins to wind up to throw the dinosaur.

Panel 3. The tyrannosaurus is stuck in the bus driver’s eye, tail first. He’s screaming “Gaaaaaah my dangnam eye.” George is walking towards his seat.

Panel 4. Little George sits in his seat next to his friend. “Hi Blades” he says. “Hi George, where’s your t-rex?” Blades is also holding a tyrannosaurus. “It’s in Mr. Supdup’s eye.” “God, I hate that guy.”

Panel 5. Outside of the bus view. Cop cars and an ambulance are surrounding the bus. “Me too, he had it coming.”

Panel 6. Mrs. Bentos is sitting with a lady friend in a diner. She is crying her face off and going. “Annette?! This has been about Annette the whole time? If he is alive I’m going to kill him.”

Panel 7. Mrs. Bentos’s friend reaches out her hand and puts it on Mrs. Bentos and she says “Calm down Juliette. Let’s first try to figure out what has happened to George.”

Panel 8. “I AM CALM!” Juliette Bentos says as she smashes her coffee cup to pieces. “Wait till I get my hands on Geor-WAIT TILL I GET A HOLD OF ANNETTE”

Panel 9. “What are you planning Juliette?” Lady friend is cleaning up the pieces of the broken mug. “I don’t know, but I have to find that bitch. She’ll have some explaining to do. I thought he was done with her”

Panel 10. Close up of Juliette Bentos face. She’s not crying anymore, but she looks crazy. One eye bigger than the other. That kind of thing I guess. “I wonder if she still lives at home. I’m going to head to Wyoming.”

Panel 11. Back to the school bus that is now surrounded by the cops who have their guns drawn on the bus. “Would you mind watching little George for a while? I don’t think I’ll be gone more than a week.” “Yeah sure, Julliette. That’s not a problem.

Narwhals parts 1-3

Part 1

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Part 2

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” (the rest of the address is illegible) There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_____________________________________________________________

Part 3

Panel 1: September 1984. Reykjavík, Iceland. George is scribbling away at a desk in a hotel room.

Panel 2: Close up of writing on a piece of paper. “My dear Annette, I just arrived in Iceland because I have heard that you were here not too long ago…

Panel 3: Close up of George’s face. He’s tired looking and he has a bloody nose. Not sure why he has a bloody nose at this point. Writing continues “I’ve almost travelled halfway across the world trying to find you and I am not ready to give up…”

Panel 4: Picture of George playing a didgeridoo in the Outback with one aboriginal. “In Australia they said you were heading to China”

Panel 5: George meditating on the Great Wall of China “…where they said you were heading to Russia…”

Panel 6: George playing chess in a park with some Russian dude and the Soviet flag is flapping somewhere. “…where clues began to point to Greenland”.

Panel 7: George is in the hotel bathroom looking in the mirror tending to his bloody nose. “I am not sure why you left like that. I told you I was going to handle everything, but I guess you were just being impatient.”

Panel 8: George is sitting in bed reaching for the light “I am sure I’ll find you in Greenland, but if not I’m going to give up”

Panel 9: Black panel. Words: “I hope your parents have been saving these letters.”

Panel 10: A beat up shack looking place with a mailbox overflowing with letters out front. The location as told in the panel is Laramie, Wyoming

Panel 11: A picture of a narwhal’s tusk protruding from the water. The text continues “I’ll see you soon -George”

narwhal comic

Josh has agreed to do a comic about narwhals with me. The key to this comic is there is not going to be a lot of time invested into it. Quick sketches based on quick panel descriptions. First two parts were written in under ten minutes each. Here is the draft of how the comic will look for the first two parts:

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Narwhals

In a highly unshocking announcement, Barack Obama has decided to cut funding to NASA's Constellation program, which was a program dedicated to figuring out a way to bring people "back" to the moon. Instead of wasting NASA's time in refiguring out ways to get to the moon, Obama and NASA agreed to leave that up to the private sector, which includes the balloon boy's dad and Jim down the street. Obama insisted that the money that will be budgeted for NASA will be used to figure out how to get people farther into space, faster and cheaper, in a commendable effort to solve unemployment. Since the moon has proven to be rather boring, NASA will try to get these people, and a handful of narwhals to more exotic locations such as Mars and Jupiter.

As a moon enthusiast, I am very upset with this turn of events. As a card carrying member of the Smithsonian Institute I longed for the day we, as Americans, landed on the moon once again to put another flag next to the one that already exists there. I really do not see the purpose of bringing narwhals to Mars or Jupiter.

Angrily yours,
MM

List of animals

Animals

Aardvark
Bear
Cat
Dog
Eagle
Falcon
Gorilla
Horse
Iguana
Jaguar
Koala
Lion
Monkey
Newt
Octopus
Porcupine
Quail
Rat
Snake
Turtle
Unicorn
Vampire Bat
Wombat
X-animal
Yak
Zebra