the fat-faced dog

There was a fat-faced dog on my paper route. He sat on the porch when it was nice out. When he saw me coming, he'd get up and start to come down the stairs to chase me. He'd get down about three steps before the rope he was tied to would pull him back up. He'd look at me and I would peddle away on my stupid little bike. Once in a while I'd taunt that fat-faced dog, by shouting stuff like "Hey fat-faced dog, your face is fat", but for the most part I wanted to get done delivering papers so I could go home and make a glass of chocolate milk and watch cartoons.

I kept that paper route for a few years. When I got older, I eventually decided to work in a grocery store, so I gave up the paper route. At that grocery store, I was forced to deal with people on a regular basis. Can you put the meat in separate bags? Can you carry that to my car? Other people just demanded things. Paper and plastic. Hurry up, I have to go home. Whenever I tried to get away for a minute, someone would call me back. There is always work to be done at a grocery store.

Every once in a while I would walk around my old neighborhood after a day at the grocery store. I would pass the fat-faced dog's house. When it was nice out, he'd be there on the porch. Even though he was older and his face was even fatter, he'd run down the stairs to try and get me. And I would occassionally walk over to pet him on his fat head. He was a good dog.

Where I was when they captured Saddam

I guess all the OBL news has had me wondering about how people are supposed to feel when big things happen. I guess that's the big debate going on right about now. Should people be wooting and burning stuff in the street, or should they be chilling and praying to their God and whatnot? To me, the reaction doesn't really matter. People will find something to be pissed off about whatever the outcome may be. That be what makes people, people? Am I right? (I'm not apologizing for any of the stupidity found in the first few sentences of this blog, k?) (I understand there are grammatical errors, but they are used to make a point) (I'm not sure what the point is though, because I am an idiot). People separate themselves from lessers by being able to find the ability to get pissed off about basically whatever they want. I know people who hate American Idol. Other people seem to love it. If a TV show is going to bring out a debate, I guess a military-ordered death will as well. "So react how you want, just don't react around me"-Martin Luther King.

That is not really a Martin Luther King quote, it is a slight variation of a lyric found in a Bad Religion song.

I didn't riot at the OBL news, but I didn't boohoo none neither. My best friend growing up was a pacifist labrador retriever, but all the same I'm totes happy that OBL is no longer around. Perhaps contradictory, but I'm sure Ladybug would understand.


I tried to remember if the capturing of Saddam caused a similar reaction. Did Phillies and Mets fans hug in the streets? Did college campuses go bonkers? I have no idea. I heard about the Saddam news when I was laying face down on the carpet in Maguire's living room in Albany. Me and Jones visited him for some crappy party, and then crashed at Maguire's new apartment. The apartment was pretty boring and I think Maguire was trying to save money so he didn't let us turn the heat on, even though I remember his apartment was real cold. Jones called the couch, which was fine, because I have no problem sleeping on a floor. I remember Maguire's carpet smelling really good. There were lots of jokes about how good the carpet smelled. Most of them were inappropriate. But anyway, we drank a lot then passed out in our designated pass-out space. Maguire in his bed, Jones on the couch, me on the floor. Since it was so cold, Jones took down Maguire's curtains to use as blankets at some point in the night.

I remember waking up to Maguire freaking out. Maguire is military, and he ran in the room to turn on his television. Jones was excited. I wasn't excited, I was really hung over and cold. We watched the news programs all morning, and Maguire was confident that we had won. It was cool joining in on his winning attitude, but I was still pretty hungover. We probably made fun of Jones for the rest of the morning and then found greasy food somewhere.

The first time I saw Osama die

OBL is now dead. This short blog is not about that. It is more about the other time he died. I have more information about that because I was there and I saw it happen. So I will share.

It was the spring semester of my senior season at college. I was a nitwit kid with a couple of radio shows on the college station. They were good shows. Steve and I yelled at each other while Mike and I ignored one another. One thing was certain. When GWAR was in town we would go. So we did. Although my memory refuses to confirm Mike and Steve's attendance. It can, however, confirm with certitude that Dan was in attendance. It may have even have been Dan's idea to go see GWAR at Tink's.

To understand why that is funny, you have to first realize a little bit more about Dan. Dan didn't like loud music. He liked DMB or other cargo short wearing music. I took him to a punk show our sophomore year at Sea-Sea's and he got spit on by some kid. This made him not go to anymore shows with me. Because even if he did like some of the crap I listened to, he couldn't tolerate nitwit kids who do stupid shit at shows. Can't blame him. So for Dan to suggest a GWAR show, it was funny. I wasn't big into GWAR, but I decided it is a show to go to at least once in your lifetime. So we went. It was at Tink's.

A GWAR show is fun because they dress up in monster costumes and throw up on the crowd. At the particular show I went to, they had some people that they were going to sacrifice to their gods. They killed Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden, as well as Mike Tyson and George Bush. The music was real loud, and during the executions blood and guts would spill out into the crowd. I jumped on top of everyone and surfed my way up to the front to see what death felt like. A good time was had by all.

Dan watched from the bar in the balcony.