While procrastinating I realigned baseball

Dear Mr. Selig,

Our first baby is going to be born in under two months from now (you're welcome to come to the open house/baby shower if you'd like, as long as you don't make a speech). I have four papers due by the end of the month. I have to run my first marathon in ten days. I have about four phone calls from friends and family that I need to return. I have kitty litter to scoop. I have to catch up on last night's episode of Lost. There is a lot to do. In order to get to these things I need to first write this letter to you that you will probably not read so I can stop thinking about it. However if you do read this letter, you will see that your special committee to fix baseball is no longer needed. Since it is highly unlikely that a salary cap will ever be agreed upon, I will do what I can to fix baseball and make it as fair of a game as it can be in a capless world for all the little children in all of the cities in this great land of ours.

My co-worker Mr. Hall sent me a link to an article on Sports Illustrated by Mr. Verducci. The purpose of this article was to alert us fans about your special committee that was going to analyze the game of baseball. This committee would brainstorm many ideas on how to fix America's (and Toronto's) game. Mr. Verducci reported that one of the things that would be considered is a realignment that could potentially be adjusted every year depending on pay roll, success, and a team's commitment to competing (which made me laugh for a good solid minute). While I understand that this is just an idea that is thrown out in a brainstorm, there are aspects of it that could work and should be applied for the 2012 season.

Before I get to realignment, I'd like to quickly address a couple of things that need fixing. Stop making the All-Star game determine the home field for the World Series. This idea has failed miserably. To make players have some incentive to play hard in this game, simply make the participating bonus higher for the winning team. Another quick point that I'd like to address is please do not expand the use of instant replay. The home run instant replay is ok and we will leave that in place. Do not put add anymore instant replays. To make umpiring better, please analyze the events seen in the NFL Scouting Combine. Umpires should be able to complete these skill challenges under a to be determined mark. If they can't, they will not be allowed to blow meaningful calls in a playoff series (reference the Yankees-Twins 2009 divisional round series.)

It has been brought to my attention for the past 15 years that baseball has not been very fair. As a Yankees fan living in Philadelphia I naturally tend to ignore these claims, but I have decided to keep an open mind recently and acknowledge that the Yankees high payroll allows their players to buy the best performance-enhancing drugs money can buy. I'm pretty sure that even Mr. Zila can acknowledge that there is an element of unfairness in Major League Baseball today. In order to establish my new, and slightly Marxist, realignment, it will require a final ruling on the use of the DH.

The fact that there is a DH in one league and not a DH in the other league makes MLB the stupidest sport on the planet when it comes to determining a true champion. Having a DH or not having a DH completely affects how you manage your game. It also determines how you build your roster. To require a team to play 162+ games one way, and then to suddenly require them to change to the other league's style of play for 3 or 4 games in the most meaningful series, the World Series is absolutely absurd. No other professional sport has anything like this. To make a comparison, it would be like saying that in the NFL, only AFC teams are allowed to have kickers on their roster. In the NFC, you are not allowed to carry a kicker on your team. You would require the quarterback to make all kicks and punts. Even college football's BCS makes more sense in determining a champion, because at least the two teams determined by a robot are prepared to play the same game.

Once you, the owner's, and the player's get over yourself and add or subtract the DH permanently from the game, we can begin to seriously discuss a realignment. Out of all the realignment models that I have seen, Fox Sports Mr. Rosenthal presents the best model which I have tweaked slightly. I have also added names to the divisions. Here it is:

EAST


Clemente Division:
Yanks
Mets
Orioles
BJs
Nats

Koufax Division:
Red Sox
Reds
Phillies
Pirates
Marlins

Ruth Division:
Twins
Tigers
Indians
Rays
Braves

WEST

Mays Division:
Seattle
Giants
A's
Dodgers
Angels

Robinson Division:
Royals
Padres
Cardinals
Cubs
Brewers

Aaron Division:
Rangers
white sox
Diamondbacks
Rockies
Astros

The 162 schedule would stay in tact and it would be broken down as follows. I will do it from an East Coast perspective, but it is the same for the west.

Everyone in the East would play each other 10 times, which would make up 140 games. That leaves 22 more games. 15 of these games would be spent playing a division from the West Coast. This will change every year on a three year cycle, so one year the Clemente's will play the Aaron, the following year the Clemente's will play the Robinson, and the third year the Clemente's will play the Say Hey's. This leaves 7 games. These 7 games are determined similarly to how the NFL creates parity in their scheduling. The 7 remaining games would be determined on how a team finished the year before. Using last year as an example, the Yankees would play the Phillies for an additional 4 game series, and then they will have a 3 game series with the Red Sox. The Nationals on the other hand will have a 4 game series with the Orioles and a 3 game series with the Pirates.

I know what you are thinking, but what about all that $$$ generated from Yankees-Red Sox on TV. In this model, you would lose 6 or 7 of those games, but you have now developed 7 more Yankees-Phillies games in a regular season, which in the long run may create a bigger rivalry because Philadelphia-New York is a little closer than New York-Boston. In addition, you have Philadelphia-Baltimore playing more, which is promoting people from different cities to travelling shorter distances to seeing their home team on the road more regularly.

The playoff set-up would be the same. There will be 3 divisional leaders and 1 Wild Card. This may cause the argument to come up if you are a Toronto Blue Jay stuck playing against the big spending Yankees and Mets, while the Ruth division is filled with a bunch of poor hacks. Let's say that one year the Yankees win the division and the Mets win the wild card, but the Blue Jays finish with a better record than the divisional winner of the Ruth division (in this hypothetical it is the Tigers because we are going to assume that Miguel Cabrera has stayed sober.) While the Blue Jays will miss the playoffs and sort of be screwed that year, the following year they will be rewarded for their accomplishment and they will be relocated to the Aaron division in exchange for the worst team from that division. You can argue that this presents an unfair advantage for the Yankees because their division has weakened considerably, you will realize that for the first time Toronto will now be in a position to win the division because they only have to jump over the Tigers who they had a better winning % last year, or they now have a better opportunity to win the wild card. The Yankees would once again have to play the tougher schedule, while the crappy team that came over will have the weakest schedule out of anybody, which makes it somewhat possible for the Yankees to fall.

If you would like to discuss any of the points I have made, please feel free to contact me by replying to this email. I would be happy to disprove any argument you may have.

Regards,

Mr. Kurpel