Dan lied about liking death metal (aka Achievement)

Dan used to live in a prison cell. He didn't do anything bad, it's just that the prison ran out of money. It wasn't profitable to keep all the criminals locked up anymore, so the prison was forced to shut down. All the criminals went home to commit more phony crimes. Like siphoning gas from the neighbor's Hyundai and swearing loudly at the television while Jeopardy is on. Life is perfect, crimes don't exist. The closed prison was purchased by a crooked landlord and the cells were transformed into apartments. Dan rented one years back.

I visited Dan in that cell once. We had made plans to go see a concert and he suggested that I stop by his place before we went so we could drink a bunch of beers that he didn't need to smuggle into the prison, since it wasn't really a prison. I was hesitant, but I said ok. I showed up at his cell around 6 or 7. He was excited to have company because he just found out that a neighbor down the way hung (or is it hanged) himself (or is it thyself). This was a regular thing evidently and it was starting to depress Dan. I told him that it was a shame, but he shouldn't be too sad about it. We were going to a pretty great concert after all. I think it was an Oil Dragon concert. We loved that band. He quickly forgot the suicide and he started pounding Coors Originals. After about an hour I looked at my watch and realized that we would need to leave soon if we wanted to see the opening bands. I think the opening bands included The Transylmaniacs and The Invisible Gas Mask Theory, who we really wanted to see because we both heard great things. I said, "Dan, we got to leave NOW". He looked at his watch and nodded his head while opening another Coors Original. "We got time for one more beer". Police sirens weren't heard in the distance.

We never made it to the concert that night. Turns out Dan wasn't in the mood for going to see a couple of bands. After about another hour of drinking and talking about life I left. I went to a diner on the other side of town that sat on top of an abandoned cemetary. One day it stopped being profitable to bury the dead, so the cemetary was forced to sell land to developers. I ordered a grilled cheese with french fries and a chocolate milk shake. It was pretty good. Which is generally how I remember most things to be.