Book Death

The homeless man dealt with the news of the impending snowstorm by deciding to take a nap on the floor of the bookstore. This, of course, was met with customer panic because it is clearly a violation of a social norm. What the FUCK is that dude doing there? Doesn’t he know we are in public?! What do we tell the children?! Thou shalt not sleep on the floor of a store we remind our kids as little Timmy decides to take his shoes off and throw them at Current Events. Unsure of what to do, security and a few good samaritans decided to pretend it was a heart attack and called for an ambulance. As far as I could tell, the man was just tired of being cold and tired of being tired. If he was found in the Self-Help section, that would be one thing, but since he was found in Fiction T-V I thought everybody was overreacting. Let the man be I whispered into a couple of magazines. He just needs a break. “Sir what day were you born?” the do-gooders asked while waiting for the ambulance. No answer. Security begins to make little jokes between themselves. Enough is enough! Before I can take action, I decide to walk up the down escalator to buy a croissant and a scarf. On my way down the up, I realize I am too late. The paramedics have come and gone, taking the tired old man with them to who knows where to treat him for whoknowswhat for alotof$$$imsure. How long was I upstairs? With the problem eliminated, the lonely consumers make their way through the shelves to buy all the books before they disappear forever.

part 5

PART 5

Panel 1. Overhead view of the outside of the diner. Across the street you can see a bench where you can kind of make out a dude sitting on the bench with a dog at his feet. Behind him is a park where you can kind of see a couple playing Frisbee with a dog running inbetween them. A couple of parked cars in the street in between the diner and the bench where the dude is sitting. Maybe someone walking somewhere in the panel.

Panel 2. Close up view of the guy on the bench. He has a top hat on, dressed in a suit with one of them raincoat duster things on. He has blind man glasses on and a blindman stick resting on his lap. At his feet is his seeing eye dog, which is a malnourished looking black lab. Old and tired. Patches of fur missing. Head down. Behind the bench is a bush and popping up behind the bush are the heads of the couple throwing a Frisbee. The blind dude is talking “Does anybody work in this goddamn country anymore? You hear them carrying on in the park, Ladybug? Shouldn’t they be in goddamn school or something?”

Panel 3. Same view, the Frisbee comes into view, just missing the head of the blind man. One of the people in the back shouts “Oh man, go get the Frisbee, Scooter”. Ladybug’s head is up now and her tail is wagging…excited about the Frisbee. Blind dude says “Don’t you think about going anywhere, Ladybug or I will kick you in your goddamn ribs”.

Panel 4. Scoot is in the frame now, jumping over Ladybug. The blindman is holding his blindman stick like a baseball player waiting for a pitch. “goddamn hippies letting their goddamn dogs run loose and shit and piss all over this goddamn city. Someone needs to start enforcing some rules around here.”

Panel 5. The blindman has swung but missed hitting Scoot who has landed and is running out of frame after the Frisbee. The swing has caused the blindman’s hat and glasses to fall to the ground. “awww goddammit Ladybug get my goddamn glasses for me will ya.

Panel 6. Ladybug is back to looking depressed. Head down after all the Frisbee excitement. Blindman has his hat in his hand but he still doesn’t know where his glasses are which are sitting right behind Ladybug. Blindman’s now exposed eyes are normal looking. He isn’t really blind.

Panel 7. View is of the diner door now. Juliette is outside of the door. Her friend is still inside paying the bill or something I guess. She is standing there lighting a cigarette. Words from off the panel include a WHAP! Get up and find my glasses you lazy goddamn dog. Another WHAP and then a dog whimper.

Panel 8. Blindman is underneath the bench trying to find his glasses, looking kinda like the Grinch when he was slithering around stealing Christmas presents from the Who’s. lady bug is kind of behind the bench sitting and shaking. The guy in the Frisbee playing couple is standing close, behind the bush. “Excuse me sir, is everything ok? Can I help you with something?” blindman replies “Yeah you can help me by GETTING THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE.

Panel 9. The Frisbee dude is waving to his girlfriend and says “Get Scoot, let’s get the hell away from this guy. He’s out of his mind.” The blindman hand has finally found his glasses, while he is still sprawled out underneath the bench.

Panel 10. Julliette is walking past the bench. You only see her legs and her high heels and behind her, u see the blindman curled under the bench hugging Ladybug with his hand over the dog’s mouth. There’s clicks next to the heel’s or something.

Panel 11. Juliette is out of the frame and you still see the blinddude under the bench hugging Ladybug. “That’s her?!?!?! We’ve hit the jackpot Ladybug. Let’s go before she gets too far ahead.

narwhal thing part 1-4

Part 1

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Part 2

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” (the rest of the address is illegible) There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_____________________________________________________________

Part 3

Panel 1: September 1984. Reykjavík, Iceland. George is scribbling away at a desk in a hotel room.

Panel 2: Close up of writing on a piece of paper. “My dear Annette, I just arrived in Iceland because I have heard that you were here not too long ago…

Panel 3: Close up of George’s face. He’s tired looking and he has a bloody nose. Not sure why he has a bloody nose at this point. Writing continues “I’ve almost travelled halfway across the world trying to find you and I am not ready to give up…”

Panel 4: Picture of George playing a didgeridoo in the Outback with one aboriginal. “In Australia they said you were heading to China”

Panel 5: George meditating on the Great Wall of China “…where they said you were heading to Russia…”

Panel 6: George playing chess in a park with some Russian dude and the Soviet flag is flapping somewhere. “…where clues began to point to Greenland”.

Panel 7: George is in the hotel bathroom looking in the mirror tending to his bloody nose. “I am not sure why you left like that. I told you I was going to handle everything, but I guess you were just being impatient.”

Panel 8: George is sitting in bed reaching for the light “I am sure I’ll find you in Greenland, but if not I’m going to give up”

Panel 9: Black panel. Words: “I hope your parents have been saving these letters.”

Panel 10: A beat up shack looking place with a mailbox overflowing with letters out front. The location as told in the panel is Laramie, Wyoming

Panel 11: A picture of a narwhal’s tusk protruding from the water. The text continues “I’ll see you soon -George”

_______________________________________________________________

Part 4

Panel 1. Seattle, Washington January 1985. Little George is climbing the bus steps with tyrannosaurus in his hand and the creepy old bus driver says “Hey George, how’s yer mom these days?”. Bus driver digs George’s mom so he says it lustfully or something.

Panel 2. View changes and you see little George from the bus driver’s perspective. “SHUT THE FUCK UP” as he begins to wind up to throw the dinosaur.

Panel 3. The tyrannosaurus is stuck in the bus driver’s eye, tail first. He’s screaming “Gaaaaaah my dangnam eye.” George is walking towards his seat.

Panel 4. Little George sits in his seat next to his friend. “Hi Blades” he says. “Hi George, where’s your t-rex?” Blades is also holding a tyrannosaurus. “It’s in Mr. Supdup’s eye.” “God, I hate that guy.”

Panel 5. Outside of the bus view. Cop cars and an ambulance are surrounding the bus. “Me too, he had it coming.”

Panel 6. Mrs. Bentos is sitting with a lady friend in a diner. She is crying her face off and going. “Annette?! This has been about Annette the whole time? If he is alive I’m going to kill him.”

Panel 7. Mrs. Bentos’s friend reaches out her hand and puts it on Mrs. Bentos and she says “Calm down Juliette. Let’s first try to figure out what has happened to George.”

Panel 8. “I AM CALM!” Juliette Bentos says as she smashes her coffee cup to pieces. “Wait till I get my hands on Geor-WAIT TILL I GET A HOLD OF ANNETTE”

Panel 9. “What are you planning Juliette?” Lady friend is cleaning up the pieces of the broken mug. “I don’t know, but I have to find that bitch. She’ll have some explaining to do. I thought he was done with her”

Panel 10. Close up of Juliette Bentos face. She’s not crying anymore, but she looks crazy. One eye bigger than the other. That kind of thing I guess. “I wonder if she still lives at home. I’m going to head to Wyoming.”

Panel 11. Back to the school bus that is now surrounded by the cops who have their guns drawn on the bus. “Would you mind watching little George for a while? I don’t think I’ll be gone more than a week.” “Yeah sure, Julliette. That’s not a problem.

Narwhals parts 1-3

Part 1

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Part 2

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” (the rest of the address is illegible) There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_____________________________________________________________

Part 3

Panel 1: September 1984. Reykjavík, Iceland. George is scribbling away at a desk in a hotel room.

Panel 2: Close up of writing on a piece of paper. “My dear Annette, I just arrived in Iceland because I have heard that you were here not too long ago…

Panel 3: Close up of George’s face. He’s tired looking and he has a bloody nose. Not sure why he has a bloody nose at this point. Writing continues “I’ve almost travelled halfway across the world trying to find you and I am not ready to give up…”

Panel 4: Picture of George playing a didgeridoo in the Outback with one aboriginal. “In Australia they said you were heading to China”

Panel 5: George meditating on the Great Wall of China “…where they said you were heading to Russia…”

Panel 6: George playing chess in a park with some Russian dude and the Soviet flag is flapping somewhere. “…where clues began to point to Greenland”.

Panel 7: George is in the hotel bathroom looking in the mirror tending to his bloody nose. “I am not sure why you left like that. I told you I was going to handle everything, but I guess you were just being impatient.”

Panel 8: George is sitting in bed reaching for the light “I am sure I’ll find you in Greenland, but if not I’m going to give up”

Panel 9: Black panel. Words: “I hope your parents have been saving these letters.”

Panel 10: A beat up shack looking place with a mailbox overflowing with letters out front. The location as told in the panel is Laramie, Wyoming

Panel 11: A picture of a narwhal’s tusk protruding from the water. The text continues “I’ll see you soon -George”

narwhal comic

Josh has agreed to do a comic about narwhals with me. The key to this comic is there is not going to be a lot of time invested into it. Quick sketches based on quick panel descriptions. First two parts were written in under ten minutes each. Here is the draft of how the comic will look for the first two parts:

Panel One: Black. Words: “Midnight” “Davis Strait off the coast of Maniitsoq, Greenland” “November 1984”

Panel Two: Black

Panel Three: Black.

Panel Four: A match is lit in the distance. An outline of a dude standing in a small boat is seen that is floating in the middle of the water.

Panel Five: Close up of hands using the match to light a lantern in the boat. Behind the lantern lying in the boat are guitar and some empty bottles of beer.

Panel Six: The boat is now lit up pretty good. The dude is sitting in his little boat leaning back playing his geetar. Words of a song will be in the panel. Musical notes and the words HEEEEEEEEEEY SWEEEET MAAAAAMA are coming from the dude.

Panel Seven: Dude is now drinking from a bottle.

Panel Eight: Dude leans over the side of the boat and is puking.

Panel Nine: Dude is done puking and he is staring into the ocean saying “What the…”

Panel Ten: Dude stands up and reaches for a spear that I guess was in the boat in the previous panels too.

Panel Eleven: The tiny boat is smashed to bits and dude is diving headfirst into the water with his spear as a majestic narwhal is half-emerged from the water into the air.

___________________________________________________________________

Panel One: Lady in a kitchen talking on the phone. She is sitting in a chair next to a fridge and the phone is on the wall like the Simpsons I think. Corner shows that it is January 1985, Seattle, WA. Lady is saying “I haven’t heard from George in four or five months…”

Panel Two: “…the last letter I got from George said that he was leaving Ireland and he was going to make his way to Iceland and Greenland, then cross through Canada to come home.” The picture shows George in a pub writing a letter.

Panel 3: Back to lady sitting in kitchen and voice bubble from phone asking “How is little George taking his dad’s long absence?”

Panel 4: “George has been gone for three years now. I’m not sure little George remembers his dad...” Picture in this panel is a five year old kid sitting in his room smashing a volcano with a tyrannosaurus toy in one hand and a sneaker in the other.

Panel 6: “I think George will be back by the summer” Bang from the door (coming from outside of panel) “Hang on, someone’s at the door”.

Panel 7: Mailman is at the door asking the lady to sign for a package. “I need you to sign for this box. I think it’s from Greenland?” Lady says “OK, sure, thanks”

Panel 8: A close up of the box and the return address. Return address reads Nuuk Police Department Nuuk, Greenland

Panel 9: Lady is standing in her doorway opening the box.

Panel 10: Lady is reading the letter from the police department. The part that is in the panel reads: Dear Mrs. Bentos. We are sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a boating accident. His boat appears to have fallen victim to the attack of the narwhal. Your husband’s body has not been found, but due to the location of the boat at its discovery we are not confident in the possibility of survival. Enclosed in this box are the possessions found in the boat…

Panel 11: A close up of the box dropped on the ground with a hat and a letter addressed to “My Dear Annette” There is a voice bubble coming from above which is basically Mrs. Bentos screaming. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH or EEEEEEEEEEE or something. Yeah maybe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Narwhals

In a highly unshocking announcement, Barack Obama has decided to cut funding to NASA's Constellation program, which was a program dedicated to figuring out a way to bring people "back" to the moon. Instead of wasting NASA's time in refiguring out ways to get to the moon, Obama and NASA agreed to leave that up to the private sector, which includes the balloon boy's dad and Jim down the street. Obama insisted that the money that will be budgeted for NASA will be used to figure out how to get people farther into space, faster and cheaper, in a commendable effort to solve unemployment. Since the moon has proven to be rather boring, NASA will try to get these people, and a handful of narwhals to more exotic locations such as Mars and Jupiter.

As a moon enthusiast, I am very upset with this turn of events. As a card carrying member of the Smithsonian Institute I longed for the day we, as Americans, landed on the moon once again to put another flag next to the one that already exists there. I really do not see the purpose of bringing narwhals to Mars or Jupiter.

Angrily yours,
MM

List of animals

Animals

Aardvark
Bear
Cat
Dog
Eagle
Falcon
Gorilla
Horse
Iguana
Jaguar
Koala
Lion
Monkey
Newt
Octopus
Porcupine
Quail
Rat
Snake
Turtle
Unicorn
Vampire Bat
Wombat
X-animal
Yak
Zebra