Luge disappointment

http://sports.espn.go.com/olympics/winter/2010/luge/columns/story?columnist=bryant_howard&id=4920295

Dear Mr. Bryant,

I enjoyed your article and I thought you were right on the money when discussing the difficulties experienced by the United States women's luge team in this year's Winter Olympics. I agree that it never seemed that the promising young team would be able to adjust to the course alterations that were necessitated following the tragic death of Mr. Kumaritashvili. I have to admit that my blood boiled when I heard German slider Natalie Geisenberger state the course had a "children's start". Having an American victory in the luge would have been a fitting way to silence Ms. Geisenberger and other critics. In addition, it would have vaulted the sport into the American spotlight and showed that it was a deserving Olympic sport and not just a competition between a bunch of lunatics with a death wish.

I have been a fan of sliding sports for a long time now, and while I prefer the skeleton (the name itself and something about going down a hill face first without a steering mechanism or brakes appeals to me), I have always been respectful of the luge. At the same time, I can understand the criticism against the sport. The sport on television lacks appeal because the slight flick in the calves that is required to steer is hard for the unknowledgeable viewer to follow. In addition, watching people go down the same course one after the other can get repetitive and dull pretty quick. NASCAR, which also gets the "it's just a bunch of people driving in circles" argument, at least allows the viewer to watch some exciting passing maneuvers. Luge is also one of the few sports that does not benefit from a slow-motion instant replay. There really is not much for a commentator to slow down and emphasize that cannot already be understood in real time. The pausing at the finish line to show the exact moment a slider crosses loses the dramatic impact of a photo finish of the Kentucky Derby and also lacks the absurdity of a still from a first-time rollercoaster. I love luge because what you see is what you get. The best of the best win and if you are not in complete sync mentally and physically, you will not emerge a winner. This cannot be said of many other sports except maybe tennis. Even darts and bowling can factor in a lot of luck. Since I do not make up the mindset of the majority of America, I think it is necessary to revamp the luge. These changes should be considered to be implemented before Sochin.

To spruce up cross-country skiing, someone once suggested incorporating the shooting of guns into the event. This logic was flawless and should be considered when attempting to make luge more appealing. Since shooting a gun while flying down a hill at top speeds is not practical, I can argue that throwing a grenade is. I feel that during a course there should be a required three grenade launches, the last of which will be into an aquarium of fake dolphins. Moguls is a sport that factors speed and creative skill when judged, so as a suggestion the luge should become more about speed. In addition to the grenades, I believe that 25 giant bowling pins should be placed at the end of the course. How many a slider knocks down will be combined with the total time and the creativity of the grenade attacks. As a final suggestion, I believe that before mounting the sled a slider must first drink two pints of a higher ABV% microbrew and then spin around a baseball bat 20 times. These ideas of course are open to discussion, but I believe would bring more attention (including sponsors) to the wonderful sport.

Kind regards,
Mr. Kurpel